“Coach Cindy, I really want to be successful and live a purposeful life, but I just cannot seem to gain traction. IF….”. These ten alibis are ones I have heard many times from new clients. It is so easy for us to get in our own way with negative self-talk. This self-talk usually involves these “IF” statements! As Napoleon Hill states, so well in Chapter 15 (How to Outwit the Six Ghosts of Fear) in Think and Grow Rich!, “Building alibis with which to explain away failure is a national pastime.”
If I could live my life over again, I would“_________”. I grew up playing golf with my family and one thing we could do as we learned the game was ask for a mulligan or a do-over. I believe the same is true for life. I have had clients come to me thinking they were not allowed to start over. If you are breathing, you can give yourself a mulligan.
If I were only younger. This is one of the “not allowed here” rules I have for my clients. You are never, ever too old to make a difference in life! I’ve seen books written by men and women in their 80s. I have a client who started a new business in her 70s!
If I were born rich. Read the book, Think and Grow Rich! and you will be introduced to some of the wealthiest people in the U.S who started with nothing. Absolutely nothing!
If my boss only appreciated me. I do believe that people leave bosses, not companies, but if you are using this excuse to stop you from moving forward in life, that is mistaken thinking. Yes, it would be nice if your boss appreciated you…. but, your boss does not have the power to shape your thoughts about who you are and what you know to be true about yourself.
If I lived in a big city. Really? This is an excuse that simply makes no sense to me. If it is a true statement, move. But, with technology today, you can do just about anything you want and need to do from the middle of the pasture lands! How do I know? I am leading a virtual coaching and training center from a small lake in the Flint Hills of Kansas!
If I had not failed at“_______”. As a life coach, I always perk up when I hear this alibi! If we haven’t failed at something, we probably are not learning! This is not a “stopper” unless you make it one. A good coach can help you see what you learned from the failure. And, yes, there is always something learned!
If I didn’t have so many worries. Worries typically involved the past or the future, not the present. There is no benefit to worry. It simply is not helpful. I have seen clients sink in quicksand with worries and typically they worry about things they have absolutely no control over.
If I were sure of myself. Whose fault is that? I have yet to meet a client who did not have strengths, gifts and abilities. The problem is, they often try to operate in their weaknesses and then when things “don’t work out” they become unsure of themselves. I work with clients to have a visible Go-To statement that reflects the truth about their strengths, gifts and abilities.
If I didn’t have a “past”. Well, the past is the past. What have you learned from the past? When clients keep the past from moving them forward they often get stuck there. They cannot live and enjoy the day they have and the future is framed by their view of the “past”. There is a reason a car’s rearview mirror is much smaller than the windshield!
If I just had the courage to see myself as I am. This is one of those excuses I’ve never understood. What does this even mean? If clients are living behind masks that everyone – including themselves – see, there is a real problem. This is an excuse that might need to be talked through with a counselor.
Alibis are always “self-created”. They are usually deeply rooted in habit. And when that happens, it is hard to overcome our alibi-based belief system. If you want to taste joy, peace and success in your life, alibies must be discarded.
At Pass It On Purpose and Raise the Bar Academy, we take clients through the process of “burning your baggage”. If you are hiding behind an alibi and are ready to discard it and move forward, let us know! We’ll help you burn that baggage and live the life of passionate purpose you desire – alibi-free! #nomoreexcuses #beliefsystem #thinkandgrowrich